I LOVE

On December 3rd, 1993 at 9:13pm you said I love you. On December 3rd, 1993 at 9:14pm I said I love you too. We lay facing each other in bed. The comforter crumpled at the foot almost touching the ground. You have on your favorite pair of boxers and I'm wearing an oversized black t-shirt. Also yours. I watched as a sigh left your body and the corners of your mouth curved upwards. I did the same. I could feel your contentment and could see the relief in your eyes as if you had won the prize you had always wanted. My love. A prize you didn't really have. My "I love you" wasn't for you. It was a promise to myself to try and understand what love was and decide if my love was worth using on someone else. I said I love you because it was the only thing I could think to say in that situation. I said I love you because it was only three words and how powerful can three words be? I said I love you because I knew how saying it would make you feel and because I knew how it would make me feel when you did just that. On December 3rd, 1993 at 9:15pm you pushed my hair behind my ears and held my cheek in your palm just the way I needed you to and just the way you always know when to. On December 3rd, 1993 at 9:16pm I cried and you held me and told me it was okay. Something I knew already but needed to hear.